Jami called tonight to find out why I haven’t been there yet the last few days and I explained to her that I have been ill but that I will be there tomorrow. She was in a terrible combative mood and said that she wasn’t going to go into the hospital. I said tht I thoght she might do it to clear the MRS and get off the drugs so I could take her to see her daughters in Minnesota. She said that she had thought about it and implied that it was my fault she had changed her mind by not coming over more over the weekend. I think she is just terrified of everything and how few choices she has. She commented again how I had made no arrangements for Kirk and I said that no one wanted the two of them in their home the way they fight and she got really mad at that!  Since she was already angry I decided to bring up how careless they seem to be with  their illness and that really got her angry but it is so very true. I reminded her that I had given her money for clinic visits and offered to pay for scripts and she said that she had had two scripts for the MRSA that she had been carrying for  three weeks but hadn’t told me. One I believe is for Vancromyacin. I don’t know how to get it filled for free in Council Bluffs but I know there are ways there as well as here. I feel terrible. She ended up hanging up on me which from a pay phone is so final it made me cry. I picture her going back to the apartment and fighting some more with Kirk about everything until maybe one of them gets killed this time. They fight that viciously. Her father called the police once when they were fighting but they did nothing but tell them to be quiet while the house was wrecked and they were both bruised and banged up. Drugs in the house, too, but no one seems to care about that either. I want so badly to hold her and tell her everything is going to be OK but it isn’t unless she does what needs to be done. I will do all I can still tomorrow to get her into the hospital. She has no place else to go that I know of and isn’t tough enough to live on the sidewalks like a lot of the junkies in Council Bluffs do. My baby. Pray for my lost baby.